Those were the best sunday evenings – My mother had put a scarf on the bed for me to carry it along as i got out of the room once i was ready. I hurriedly sat in the car with my family and there comes a question, “Did you get your chunni?”, my mom asked. “Oh ! No”, i said in a sad voice knowing for a fact that my father would not let me get it for it called for unlocking 3 doors of the house.
I loved going to gurudwara because that was the only place where i could sit silently with my eyes closed and nobody would dare ask me what i was thinking. This question was asked to me every-time i sat with a blank face in college or at home. But here was, in gurudwara, i could very well think of all the things my brain had accumulated aside after being interrupted in between. I could say to anybody calling me for no real reason that “Man, i am in gurudwara, I Can't talk”. Picking a call in gurudwara was something i loved because the conversation could be completed in just 4 seconds.
The craving for more personal space was so intense that i went on to read many religious books that were there in gurudwara just so i could not be disturbed in between. In all this process that was repeated every sunday i was unknowingly being connected to someone very bigger than me. I was talking incessantly with a soft voice inside me and was getting humble answers, sometimes from the preacher sitting right next to the holy book - “Guru Granth Sahib Ji”. I wandered how how he knew what i was thinking, how quick he was in attending to my questions. I read more and i was answered more. I was a changed person every-time i came back home – more relaxed, at peace with myself. I was understanding the deepest meaning of words written in holy books that i had never heard of before. As i read them i was filled with more strength and wisdom. It wasn't that i didn't believe in god before, i still remember filling - “Tell something about yourself” column of slam books in school with a big line – “I am very religious”
I always had faith in god but 'Utmost faith' is what that leads you to the road to spirituality, to finding one's own self, the purpose of his creation. Utmost faith is very important because it is only this kind of faith that does not flicker once you hit the bad road. It is not shattered by the worst of the circumstances. It remains there even if you end up on the roughest road because you know it is the will of your lord and as long as it is his will, the rough-roads really doesn't matter. You accept whatever he has in store for you with full positive surrender and smiles all over your face.
Thus spirituality to me is True love – love with the god, god that is inside all of us. It is being true to him and to all others because it resides in every human being. It is being constantly connected to him and relishing every moment of life taking his name. It means a heart filled with compassion for people which is his own creation. It means giving oneself completely to your lord – just like we do in True Love !
Trust me the road to spirituality is not easy at all but all you need to do is take a few right steps, the distance is huge but journey is amazing.
Ashima
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